I created this book as a unique guest register for a renewal of vows ceremony. I made the last four pages at the back with lines and sections for all the guests to leave their special messages. It caused lots of laughter and comments as people flicked through - reading the stories and looking at the pictures covering the couple's life together. And then I made another copy of the book for the mum of the 'bride' with special pictures and a poem just for her.
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A couple who are renewing their vows next month have chosen to have a book made as a really special guest register for their celebration, tracing their 25 years together. It's a wonderful journey, not just down memory lane, but a chance for them both to see how much they've learnt, changed and grown over the years. It hasn't all been plain sailing. Life and relationships never are, but they've worked hard to ensure they not only constantly challenge each other but also spend time nurturing their love. Hearing their stories and putting them into both a ceremony and a book have been a wonderful learning experience for me. I've been reminded how vital it is never to take anything for granted and to work hard for the things that are are important in life. A life story book can include only what you want it to...perhaps the happy memories are the only ones you want to record? It's not necessary to dig up hurtful memories that could bring pain to members of your family who are likely to read your book. A sensitive interviewer will discuss with you anything they feel may be of concern and then you decide if you wish to include it in your memoirs. I'm really excited about a new project I've been given - a book about the history of a Sydney show society that dates back pretty well to Captain Arthur Phillip in 1788!
The first St Ives show was in 1921 and featured a ploughing match, melon race, wood chopping and sawing plus exhibits of local produce. At this first show an orchardist won first prize for his farm produce display - he had popped his baby daughter in a basket surrounded by an attractive display of his fruit and vegetables - "a device which, according to other competitors, helped him to win!" If you are trying to get some information or stories from a close relative, to help construct a family tree or life story, they may be reluctant to open up to you. How do you handle this? With a parent or close family member, they may wonder why you you want to learn more about them. It's important to reassure them that there are some stories you’d like to hear again. You can also explain that while you know a lot about them already, there are some things you don't know about. Maybe, things you were told years ago and you don't remember well. You can also give a couple of examples of things you have always been curious about – but know nothing about. A good tip when researching your family tree on the internet is to keep a list of which sites you've been to. It's all too easy to forget where you've been and keep on going back to the same sites - trust me, I know! Also it's worth noting where you got certain information from, just in case you want to go back and add some more. Obituaries are a good place to look and you can research them on the net. As family trees work their way back in time from the present, looking for information on recently deceased relatives can sometimes be a treasure chest of information on family units, people and spouses plus date of birth, death and place of burial. This could even help you to find living relatives who could offer more information on your family tree. 'Ethical Wills' are a Jewish tradition and the Hebrew Bible first described them 3,000 years ago (Genesis Ch.49). Ethical Wills, which are not legal documents, can be either the life story of the person who is nearing death, the lessons they've learnt and wish to pass on or even their dreams and wishes for their family members. They can also be written at times of transition in someone's life. Have you written an Ethical Will? If not, the benefits are huge. It could be the most meaningful gift you could leave to your family. This is one very special lady who I spent yesterday afternoon with, presenting her with her book of her life story, 'Follow Your Heart'. She was utterly delighted with it and said, "it is above all expectations. You fed me properly into the right channels and the floodgate opened and wouldn't stop." And she added, "The way you presented it tied everything together so well." Anzac Day was such a special time to deliver her book to her in person as she survived the worst prisoner-of-war camp in Indonesia during World War 11. Instead of harboring anger and bitterness she somehow found positives in the dreadful experience - and this trait has enhanced her life and nurtured her amazing spirit. I am looking forward to starting the Life Story book of a man who is soon to turn 70. His daughters are compiling as much information and images as they can and then we are going to talk to his 90-year-old father for his memories...This is going to be a surprise gift for a man who has everything he needs. It will be a real tribute to him, compiled with love and making sure his life and experiences live on into the future... I agree with American author, Susan Cheever who says, “I believe that the memoir is the novel of the 21st century; it’s an amazing form that we haven’t even begun to tap…we’re just getting started figuring out what the rules are.” Memoir, in my mind at least, is an area of one's life that evokes intense feeling - childhood, for me is a very good example. I love how old photos like this take me right back to that very moment and conjures up so many happy feelings... |
AuthorRebecca Skinner has been a journalist and editor for more than 30 years working in newspapers, magazines, TV and radio. Her caring nature enables her to put people quickly at ease to help prompt their memories. As a writer she can weave anyone's story into a professionally written and produced book that makes compelling reading. Archives
April 2018
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